A daily workout after a weekend of Inspiration

Over the weekend I attended the first online version of Lightbox Expo, a weekend of professional artists inspiring other to grow as their own creative selves and embrace their passion and the reason they started their path as an artist in the first place. In the global social climate right now, 2020 is by far the hardest for everyone in my experience of my short life. It has been a year of doubt, regression, unbalance and shortsightedness. I have undergone brain surgery to cure my epilepsy and was deathly afraid of the results of it. Even thinking I would never wake up while under the scalpel. Immediately after my surgery I suffered from double vision, increasing my fear of ever making it in the entertainment industry and a disablement I would never recovery from. A few months later I am feeling great and my sight has recovered, not completely but I have been assured it will get better. Looking back at how it was really bad, I can say for sure my recovery has been great! I have had no auras or petit mal seizures, grand mal seizures, or any symptoms that would tell me that I am still suffering from epilepsy. That has put a new positive light on my future of freedom, including the possibility of getting my drivers license back. This has been a huge step in my physical recovery. I am still under the oppression of impostor syndrome, a terrible downward spiral that I only am responsible for. That was a topic I heard a lot of people talk about over the weekend, and something that one of my very good friends who has been in the entertainment industry for over ten years recognizes and accepts, but he doesn't let it get him down. He has been very motivating to me and I have to accept that he believes in me, and can only come to that conclusion after several zoom meetings with him discussing creative ideas. I can only maintain my ability with working my creatives muscles every day, so I am putting a sketchbook page and a very quick color exercise out there there and be proud that I actually dedicated some time to doing it this morning instead of doing nothing, which only deteriorates my security. I have to look ahead, build a goal myself and have fun doing it.

© Ian Kirkpatrick